Your Ex May Still Have the Keys: Car Apps, Stalking and Divorce
A divorce judgment can give you the car. It does not remove your former spouse from the app that unlocks it, starts it and shows where it is parked. A recent news report shows how badly that can go, and why connected accounts belong in every separation agreement and protective order.
A Protective Order, a Divorce Decree, and No One Who Could Help
In October 2026, Forbes reported on a domestic abuse survivor whose ex-husband still had access to the smartphone app for her BMW. According to the report, he used it to open the windows in the rain, unlock the doors, pop the trunk, start the engine and follow her location.
She went to her local dealership with police reports, a protective order, her divorce decree and proof that she owned the car. She says employees told her they could not remove him from the app and that her only option was to buy a different car. She paid off what she owed and did.
BMW told Forbes that it has an escalation process for removing unauthorized or abusive users, that it had no record of her contacting its customer service team, and that its dealerships are independently owned. A solution apparently existed. No one she could reach knew about it.
The report describes similar complaints involving other carmakers. This is not a problem with one brand.
The Title and the App Are Two Different Things
Most newer cars come with a connected services account. Whoever set it up at purchase is usually the primary user and can add others. That account can show the car’s location, lock and unlock it, start it, and sometimes show trip history.
None of that changes when the title changes. A court can award you the car, and the DMV can issue a title in your name alone, while your former spouse remains the primary user on the app. The court order goes to the two of you. It does not go to the carmaker.
How to Check and Remove Access
Steps differ by manufacturer, but the general approach is the same:
In the car and the app
- Look in the car’s settings for connected services, users or profiles and see who is listed
- Remove users you do not recognize or no longer want
- Ask how to reset the connected services account so you can set it up fresh under your own email
- Change the password on any account you keep, and turn on two-step verification
- Collect every key fob and digital key
If you cannot do it yourself
- Call the manufacturer’s customer service line, not only the dealership
- Say it is a personal safety issue involving an unauthorized user and ask for it to be escalated
- Have proof of ownership, your divorce judgment and any protective order ready to send
- Write down who you spoke with, when, and any case number
- Tell your attorney if you are not getting anywhere
Think about safety before you act. A person who is monitoring you may notice when access is cut off. If you are afraid of how your former partner will react, talk with a domestic violence advocate or your attorney about timing. The National Network to End Domestic Violence publishes guidance for survivors on connected cars and other technology at techsafety.org.
If tracking continues, keep a record. Screenshots, dates, and notes about the car doing things you did not tell it to do are evidence.
Put Connected Accounts in the Agreement or Order
Using an app to follow someone or to interfere with their car can be stalking or cyberstalking under North Carolina criminal law. It can also support a domestic violence protective order, and it may violate one that is already in place.
Prevention is easier. When we draft a separation agreement or a property division order that awards a vehicle, we can include terms that require the other spouse to:
- Remove himself or herself as a user on the vehicle’s app and connected services by a specific date
- Transfer the primary account, or cooperate with the manufacturer so a new one can be set up
- Turn over all key fobs and delete digital keys
- Stop accessing the vehicle’s location or controls from that date forward
A protective order can also say, in plain terms, that the other person may not track your location or access your accounts and devices.
Other Accounts to Separate
Cars are one example. Couples share far more access than they realize, and most of it survives a separation unless someone turns it off:
- Phone plans and location sharing between phones
- Shared cloud accounts, photo libraries and password managers
- Smart home devices such as doorbells, cameras, locks, thermostats and garage door openers
- Tracking tags on keys, bags and vehicles
- Email accounts used for password resets
- Children’s phones, tablets and watches that travel between homes
We ask clients to make a list of shared accounts and devices early in a case, the same way they list bank accounts.
Common Questions About Car Apps and Stalking
Can my ex legally track my car through an app?
Using an app to follow someone or to operate their car without consent can be stalking or cyberstalking under North Carolina law, and it can support a domestic violence protective order. If a protective order is already in place, using the app to harass or monitor you may be a violation of that order, which is a crime.
The car is in my name. Why does my ex still have access?
The app account is separate from the title. Whoever set up the connected services account, or was added as a user, usually keeps access until someone removes them. Changing the title or the registration does not change the app.
The dealership says it cannot remove my ex from the app. What now?
Contact the manufacturer’s customer service directly and say that it is a personal safety issue involving an unauthorized user. Dealerships are often independently owned and may not know the manufacturer’s process. Have your proof of ownership, your divorce judgment and any protective order ready.
Can a divorce or protective order require my ex to give up access to accounts?
Yes. A separation agreement or court order can require a spouse to remove himself or herself from vehicle, phone and home accounts and to turn over logins by a set date. A protective order can prohibit tracking and electronic contact. Specific language is far easier to enforce than a general promise not to harass.
Concerned About Tracking or Harassment?
Our attorneys handle protective orders, separation agreements and divorce in Charlotte, Raleigh, and Gastonia. Call our intake team to find out whether we can help and to schedule a consultation with an attorney.
Managing Partner and Co-Founder, McIlveen Family Law Firm. Angela is a Board Certified Specialist in Family Law, certified by the North Carolina State Bar Board of Legal Specialization, and an experienced family law trial attorney who represents clients across North Carolina. She personally reviewed this page for legal accuracy.
